In the moment of impact (i.e. breakup, job loss, death), sometimes things…no matter how minor or drastic happens in our lives can make us feel defenseless. Yes, at that very moment it sucks because you’ve invested yourself in it, you’ve put in the effort…you tried you’re very best. First thing to overcome loss is, to acknowledge that you did everything you could in your power for something that wasn’t meant for you. It’s part of life to experience these moments. You probably feel or felt that that was it for you…he or she was it and you would never find anyone else or that was your dream job, you don’t know or want anything else. Failure or loss is one step closer to finding your true calling so don’t worry your little heads.
You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream
At that very moment you experience it even weeks after, you will feel it and it hurts like a bitch. God, if I had a nickel for every person that told me “don’t be sad” I’d be rich. Yes, it’s not good to be sad, it’s not good to put yourself down. It’s also not good to bottle those feelings up. Release every emotion you have…express it in whatever way you want.
- cry watching When Harry Met Sally or Pretty Woman
- write it out on paper, rip it to shreds, and burn it
- scream into a pillow
- scream in a secluded outdoor spot
- slam poetry
- join boxing
When you release all these emotions you are paving the path/easing in to letting go. You are born to feel, so don’t let someone tell you not to be what you are or tell you how you feel in the current moment. Who are they to tell you that? I know it could be that they are trying to help, but I don’t think that’s the right way to go about it. In order to find true happiness within yourself is:
- accepting it happened…so yes, it’s okay to be sad…it’s NORMAL
- knowing you did everything you could…you tried and that’s what matters
Lastly, time heals everything. Time….time…TIMEEEE! I’m not going to lie, I didn’t see this to be true at first.
I thought my only option was to run back to the person that hurt me and was completely wrong for me because I couldn’t imagine not having them in my life. Then months went by and I realized that it was in fact true, time does heal. You grow and you begin to understand people and you realize what you want in someone or something.
I don’t see any of the problems I’ve faced as a loss, I see them as lessons learned. I see loss as motivation to do better, to be better. I see loss as a chance for me to create better opportunity. I am 25 years old, I have so much to live for and I was worried about a tiny fraction of my life and not looking at the bigger picture. Most of the time we are caught up by these changes that we forget to push forward and find solutions.
Always remember that as humans, we need to feel. Don’t feel weird for being sad or crying. Let it out because that is a chance for you to move on from it by just giving yourself time, give yourself a break. Forgive yourself and forgive others that have wronged you. Be open to new opportunities. I hope that in time, you are able to take on new challenges to love again, don’t be afraid to because life is crazy, stupid, and wonderful like that. We are all just beautiful imperfect humans, so we should help and support each other to be better.