Ghost Boy

(This was a previous blog I re-posted because this may be relevant/helpful to some of you at some point or another)

Note to whoever reads this: you will find someone, someone who deserves your attention, who will care for you, and be there for you. If you don’t have it or can’t find it now, focus on your self, fill yourself with love by surrounding yourself with like-minded individuals, ones who will challenge and bring the best in you. Self-love is most important, it outweighs the love that people can’t give you. Once we fully feel whole within ourselves, I promise you being with another person is ten times better. If you are in a relationship, find time to yourself and continue to build your own dreams and aspirations. You can still be in a relationship and stay true to your goals, but communicating is so important. When your with someone constantly, it’s easy to get lost and end up blending/molding into the same person.

I am currently in a happy healthy relationship and this was a post that was created prior to that. I am thankful for these people because if it weren’t for these guys, I wouldn’t have found peace in myself and found the man I had hoped for and more without even trying.

If you have some questions for me or want to talk about stuff, leave me a comment or email me at thebeatriceisabel@gmail.com! I would love to answer your questions.


What is it with these guys? You know the type that would sweep you off your feet one minute and then the next minute they drop you to the ground and shut the door like you never saw it coming.

Do you recognize this type of guy/girl? I really don’t know what type of impression I leave guys. Do I read “she’s definitely a one-night stand” type of girl? I’m sorry, but that’s not who I am. If by wooing me in a nice fancy restaurant, taking me to a nice location at sunset, and talking about future endeavors with me will get you laid…I don’t think so buddy!

I’m tired of all these guys that think they can give you this amazing time to expect a prize in return. I am not your token prize, dude! If it’s not that, they ghost you and expect you to pretend like nothing happened. Why do they do this you asked? So they can keep coming back to you whenever. They go on about how they miss you or ask you how your day was, but it’s basically their way of saying “I’m still here!”

See back then, I would’ve accepted all this bullshit unwillingly…because I was lonely (vulnerable), insecure, too nice, and foolish. However, these days I don’t tolerate people who just come back in my life whenever they want and think it’s fine to do so.

Listen, if you are experiencing the same situation…I recommend the ctrl alt delete method/ block/delete them! No offense to him/her and whatever their going through, but you don’t deserve this in your life. You need distance from these type of people. You will just end up feeling like you could change things, maybe they’ll change, but for the most part I don’t want to entertain something with false hope.

If they ghost you, what makes them think they can just run back to you like nothings wrong. All I have to say to these guys is, “honey, you done fucked up home slice…pack your bags your not staying in mi casa tonight.”

Save yourself the hurt, stop questioning yourself as to why he did this, and just remove him from your life. You will be better in the long run. Let me know your thoughts! xx

 

 

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My Online Presence

Note to all my online followers:

It’s so easy to judge someone based off their online presence. If you have social media and use it quite often many fall in the trap of being portrayed as something you aren’t in real life. Please don’t assume a person’s life based on what is being posted online. It may be that I like a particular post or would like to share my opinion on something. Regardless of what the case may be, don’t get caught up in what people post.

I am a private person as much as I do have a social media presence. I just like to post, but please don’t get too caught up in an idea of me or anyone who posts frequently. Yes I am a bubbly person in real life, but I also don’t post my sad or angry days online. If you were to analyze my posts on social media to get some sort of idea of who I am, you might think I’m insane (one minute posting a quote on happy relationships and the next minute I have a really deep quote about self-love). If I like something, I post it. If I want to share in hopes it helps someone, I’ll post it. I don’t have to be experiencing my own problems as I post whatever it is I’m posting.

For the most part, I only share happy moments of my life if I do feel like sharing online. You won’t see anything that is too personal because that’s not what I choose to post. The difference with social media is that you can pick and choose what to post and in real life that really isn’t the case, things just happen (good and bad). You only see half truths so it’s best you go offline and get to know the real person, the old school way.

Peace, love, and happiness always!

 

 

 

 

 

The Comeback

“Make the comeback stronger than your setback”

Lately, I’ve been talking to a few people with similar situations and I thought I’d post about it. It’s nearing the end of 2017 and I just want to impart some of my thoughts on how to handle failure, reoccuring mistakes, and feeling sorry for yourself and my approach to it.

Failure

I am the biggest critic of myself, I have self-doubts, and sometimes I let some of these negative opinions bother me. I also have my fair share on things that let me down. Things I thought would be my saving grace, whether it be financial success upon graduation, being in a stable career, and so on. If there’s one thing I learned from the amount of time I’ve had being 27 is that failure is what will lead you to your true calling and what you are meant for. If it didn’t work out better luck next time. Also, you don’t have to be 13, 27, or 52 to realize this. You can start to realize that failures are just a minor set back to what you are really destined to do right now as I tell you this.

Reoccuring mistakes

If you don’t see a problem, it won’t be solved. If you can’t admit to your own mistakes, you are also partly the problem and the solution (if you choose). I think sometimes we as people need to see that we are all imperfect and we all have a choice. We are imperfect in the way that we all make mistakes. I think sometimes the problem is we tend to fight or develop self-loathe because we want acceptance and love (which is all necessary). Despite all the things you hate about yourself there are many qualities you are and should aim to be. Know you are capable beyond belief to choose and that you deserve self-love and happiness.

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Sometimes we face conflicts with ourselves by comparing or wanting to be something we aren’t to fit in. I think thats when social media is bad. That’s when you need to reevaluate your friendships and your life. Here’s something you can try, if you’re a social media junky like me. Remember back in the day when we didn’t have Instagram or Facebook?

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Rip the band-aid and stop feeling sorry for yourself, you are braver than you think

This is a big issue. If you linger on the problem, you are just going around like a goldfish in a fishbowl. We all have struggles to deal with, but it’s the way we deal with these struggles that are most important. This is where I think experiencing new surroundings, becoming friends with people who have a different culture than you or younger/older than you, and meeting people from all walks of life is much needed and so important.  Whatever it is you are facing, you need to know that you are worth it, you deserve the best life has to offer, and you are not alone. Everything you feel is only human. Let all failures and mistakes make you stronger.

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INSPIRATION SPOTLIGHT:

Muniba Mazari
Muniba has faced adversity with such grace that it reminds us all to cultivate gratitude for the life we live and to stand tall and face our challenges. Sometimes we get lost in things we wish we were or had rather than see what we already have in front of us. She strives to show and encourage us to put our best self forward despite the things that may hinder us along the way. Hear her story below.

Click to see her story HERE

Welcome 2018 in this way. Make your comeback stronger than your setbacks.
“Don’t die before your death. Real happiness lies in gratitude”

Love always,

Bea

 

 

Thank You!  

 

Hello new and old internet friends,

I can’t thank you enough for the follows, comments and likes on my posts. As much as I love to write and post about things I love, I’m equally as passionate and grateful for the support. I’m no where near a thousand followers, but even just a few hundred is enough for me to keep going. Celebrate every small victory guys! ❤️

Thank you mucho!

With love,

Bea

Overthinking

Hi, I haven’t posted in awhile and I apologize friends.

I am a Virgo and as much as I don’t believe in horoscopes, I know this much is true, that Virgos are over-thinkers. Kind of like that scene in Sponge-Bob when all the little Sponge-Bobs were running frantic in his firey brain tossing files and going crazy.

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It’s sometimes hard for me to communicate how I feel because my anxiety reminds me that if I mess it up, the person on the other end would judge me when in reality they probably don’t care as much as I would. It’s not that big of a deal.

Reality: IT’S NOT SERIOUS!

BRAIN: IT’S SO SERIOUS!

I’m sure I’m not the only one that said or did something and replayed that moment over and over thinking if I made the right decision.

Why am I talking about this? Well, my overthinking mind has led me to not asking all the questions I wanted to know because I’m thinking of how it’s going to sound. I think my problem for the most part is I’m always 10 steps ahead and I’m trying to live in the moment and I think over the years, I have gotten better at it. I’m not saying I don’t over think anymore, I do occasionally. However, I’ve learned a few things along the way like self-love.

I knew that I didn’t feel good, I knew I couldn’t sleep so I just tried to trust the process. I learned to train my mind to believe in the timing of my life. I don’t think there’s really any formula to completely rid of things we want to change in our lives unless we fully admit things about ourselves we want to change and how willing you are to change it. It really is just will and mind power. In other words, as Jay-Z says to speak things into existence.

I learned that if it wasn’t now, another thing will come along that’s better. Missed opportunities are pieces of the puzzle that lead you to what you are destined for. I’ve learned that comparisons won’t change your current situation, so stop worrying and start creating a life you want for yourself.

Some of the things that helped me stop overthinking:

  1. Journal/blogging -writing out my problems or just putting thoughts into words helped me see things clearly and put my mind into perspective of what’s truly important
  2. Time away from people -I’m an ambivert and as much as I love company and people, I love quiet me time to help me re-energize so I can talk to people again.
  3. De-Cluttering -throwing away excess and keeping things I need rather than have them all around me, helped clear my mind to what truly matters to me
  4. Cultivating Gratitude -being grateful everyday for things I have rather than not have put my mind at ease instead of worry about things

 

Lifestyle Edit

I’m doing this new thing. After realizing I own a lot of random shit I acquired over the years thanks to capitalism and mass consumption. I start to evaluate all the clutter in my house. Do I really need 10 pairs of jeans in the same colour? Do I need all the magazines from years ago under my bed? Do I need that random medium sized box filled with junk in my closet or my bags from 2014 that I never use anymore?

I recently watched the documentary Minimalism on Netflix, I highly recommend it.  It gave me a lot of insight about all the clutter we consume on a daily basis, the amount of money we spend on all the useless junk that help us fill voids in our life that we feel we lack.

I then realized that I consume way too much stuff. I used to buy shirts I probably already owned just because I was going to an event or I just liked the feeling of new things or buying shoes I don’t need. I would spend money on services like lash extensions or get my hair done just because I felt like it. There was always a need to spend money I didn’t even have. I don’t know where I acquired this habit, it sort of manifested itself and I knew I had to do something about it quick.

I should have known better and instead of beating myself up about it, I devised de-cluttering my room first. I spent half the day listening to Michael Jackson’s greatest hits while noticing this giant pile of clothing that occupied most of my room.

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It was pretty ridiculous to see how much clothes I never even wore or things I stopped wearing years ago stuffed in a tiny closet. I always found myself wearing the same pair of jeans, same shirts, and sweaters. So once I removed all the stuff I didn’t wear at all, my room looked way freer and more organized.

I was shocked to see the amount of stuff that would stress me out, make me feel disorganized, left me feeling clean and orderly.

All two pairs of the jeans I wore constantly were in one side, a couple dress shirts, a few casual shirts to match all my bottoms, and coats I wore daily. It made it so much easier to find the things I need for the day.

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I also started this new budgeting system called the Envelope system I found on Pinterest created by Dave Ramsey. I’ve been experimenting for a month now and I might do a blog post on how it’s working out for me, but so far I think this is working for me in terms of giving me a clear picture of prioritizing all the necessities (i.e. groceries, credit card bills, phone bills, bus pass, house bills, loan), 30 percent goes to wants/personal expenses, 20 percent goes to savings and repayments of debt.

So far, I really like seeing a clear picture of what I need to do and feel like I have more breathing room in terms of enjoying life with these little lifestyle changes.  I will update for future lifestyle edits. By clearing my space of some material things I don’t need I definitely see some improvement in terms of appreciating all the important things I do own and it helps me decide if I really need something before making a big purchase.

 

 

Short hair, don’t care

A day before my birthday, I went back to my regular hair cut. I tried growing my hair out but that didn’t work out for me, so she’s back. Like most people can’t part with their long hair, I can’t part with my short hair. I love this cut because it’s just easier for me and I personally like this length on me more than my longer hair.

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